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Buried With No Memory

by Vapours

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1.
Running laps inside of my head Figuring out where I am This place is so familiar But I feel so lost I don’t know if I can Take another second inside this hell I don’t know if I can save myself All that I see are faces of grey All that I know is fading away All I can trust is what I’ve been told I don’t know Falling further down this spiral I feel my memories fade What the fuck’s wrong with my head Will I remember you My family surround my bed and start to say their goodbyes I am not long for this life I don’t know who to believe If I am being deceived All that I have in front of me is this life I can feel my memory fading from my eyes Falling down deeper and deeper My lungs start to collapse Everything that I knew is a lie Where are my family? I’ve left behind a husk Of the man that I used to be I know you won’t remember me this way Please I don’t know where I’m going But I’ll wait there for you There’s so much between us But I have to go Running laps inside of my head Figuring out what comes next I don’t know who I am I don’t know how I feel Disgusted Petrified I feel my breath go Disgusted Petrified Not who you used to know Falling down deeper and deeper My eyes start to betray me You see me before you Shadow of my former self Family surround my bed Saying their goodbyes to me I will be there with you in your memory Buried with no memory Buried with no memory Buried with no memory Buried with no memory
2.
15 years of trauma Has lead me to this place of pain, despair and aguish I have only now begun to Separate the idea from man I hate all I see of you in me I hate all I see of you in her I can not let myself be brought down to your level I feel my life start to drain from me as I’ve begun to live again Bound by blood Separated by hatred Bound by blood Separated by hatred Bound by blood Separated by hatred Bound by blood Separated by hatred As I feel my perspective shift My memories fall into place I see where you lied to me all my life As I feel my perspective shift My memories fall into place I see where you lied to me all my life Separate the man from the image Begin to live the life that you’re gifted Separate the man from the image Take control of your life Burn off the dead wood It’s all you’ve been left with Burn off the dead wood Become whole to yourself Bound by blood Separated by hatred Separate the man from the image Begin to live the life that you’re gifted Separate the man from the image Take control of your life Bound by blood Separated by hatred Bound by blood Separated by hatred Bound by blood Separated by hatred Bound by blood Separated by hatred
3.
10_6 03:48
Inevitably drained the life from you Your hands that helped raise me Worn down to the bone Your eyes had lost their colour Your voice didn’t sound the same I didn’t recognise the woman in front of me Losing faith day by day We could not escape Losing faith day by day We could not escape Watching life drain from you And with you I tried too Watching life drain life drain from your eyes and with you I tried Watching life drain from you eyes with you I tried too Sat in houses hearing the stories of you Sat in houses hearing the life that you chose Will we be the same or will we go down in flames? Will we be remembered the same way as you? Will we be remembered the same way as you? I have a rendezvous I know I have to face Will I be as brave as you were in your final days? I have a rendezvous I know I have to face Will I be as brave as you were in your final days? Throw me into the aether Throw me into the aether Face life as a new man Throw away everything That I knew of my life Before you went away Facing my life anew Now that you’ve gone away No you’re not coming back, I know Will we be remembered the same way as you? Will we be remembered the same way as you? They told me to be strong for you I have to be there every way I can
4.
The Penance 03:56
Indoctrinated into a system of hatred You are a prisoner of your own mind Your garden is burned, and now you’re judging mine Show me what it means to be divine Your life is not your own Your life is not your own You are a slave to those Who came before you Your life is not your own Allowing scripture to define you Allowing scripture to define you Create your own freedom Step away from your prison Herd the sheep Preach your shame Herd the sheep Preach your shame Herd the sheep Preach your shame Herd the sheep Preach your shame Receive your penance for your lies Receive your penance for your lies Receive your penance for your lies Receive your penance for your lies A slave to rhetoric Bestowed upon you by a higher power Free yourself from you faith And live your life with true purpose A slave to rhetoric Bestowed upon you by a higher power Free yourself from you faith And live your life with true purpose Herd the sheep Herd the fucking sheep Herd the sheep Herd the sheep Preach your shame Throw yourself Into the fray
5.
Reflections 03:57
How long can you live like this? I know who you are A shallow man, wretched scum I know who you are A shallow man, wretched scum I know who you are A shallow man, wretched scum You live a life of toxicity Bringing everyone that you know down with you We were warned of this I never wanted to believe you could be so vile Taking steps in the wrong direction Always moving backwards Always the victim No ones hates you more than you No one loves you more than you Use your past Use it to defy yourself Change your life Move forward as a man Nobody’s out to get you You have this idea in your head That you’re the biggest priority everyone has You are your worst critic But you’re also your biggest fan Make the change Move forward as a man Live the same day over and over And question why nothing’s changed Your insecurities will dig you your own grave Live the same day over and over And question why nothing’s changed Your insecurities will dig you your own grave It’s the hate and negativity that lives in your blood Recognise these traits before you come undone Your future will never last If you spend it all dwelling on your past
6.
Resolve 04:31
Recognise the shadow of yourself Come to see the potential of your power Acknowledge your inner strength Get lost and find yourself The only thing that’s holding you back Is the way that you see yourself From the view of those around you Your perception is the catalyst for change Understand what happens when You allow yourself to fall back into The void that you’ve created Recognise the signs To take control Of your own life It’s time Create the paradigm Set yourself as the example Create the paradigm Set yourself as the example I understand The darkness inside I’ve lived with it For all of my life You are stronger than you have ever known You have been through so much already You have come out of the other side Stronger than those before you Become the catalyst for change in your life Become all you were destined to be You have to change your surroundings to match your own life and now Surround yourself with others who want to be the same These people will define you Inspire you every day To be better than you were yesterday You have knowledge You have thirst And power for destruction Recognise this and you’ll be better You have knowledge Of your thirst for destruction Use your power in it to move forward You know what you must do to survive Use the world as fuel and light your fire

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released January 29, 2021

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Vapours Adelaide, Australia

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